Posts Tagged Fail

Life Pending

Certain overlapping issues AFK prevents me from writing anything bloody worth writing. That’s what happen when I don’t have a strict writing schedule. Blah.

On the other hand, I’ve been using time leftover to play a game I got recently: Dawn of War 2. An opinion of that should come fairly soon.

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K(C?)orea – I don't know where to start

YouTube Cripples Own Site to Evade Korean Law

I know, there’s an article also on the front page about a Muslim man paying assassins to kill his own daughter for wearing a miniskirt, but this is more relatable (at least until the next the holy war sweeps into Hong Kong for some reason). Many things I want to comment on – selective perception, blatant prejudice, blind zealousness – but there’s enough of the ‘grain of truth’ in the whole ordeal that I just want to do the usual routine.

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Prince of Persia – incredibly moronic design choices


Random screencap from trailer, because I can’t be buggered to launch the game just for a single screenshot. The Hunter (left) is pretty awesome, though.

The new Prince of Persia isn’t too bad – though why they marketed it as a reboot of Sands of Time when there’s nothing in common except a whole lotta wall-running – but plagued by pure idiocy in terms of game design. Did Ubisoft Montreal recently fire all their game testers and the entire QC staff? Because that would be one of two things that would explain this inconsistency, the other (already aforementioned) being that their workers are utter morons.

Did they honestly believe that having a sparkly woosh effect a whole second long between every menu change wouldn’t get annoying after the hundredth time?

Was the PC development team inebriated throughout the entire creation process?

And to the designer(s) of the combat system… it’s actually decent, though (again) awkward, because the back-and-forth swordfights are so inconsistent. Let’s not even mention how disjointed the action and the platforming are…

[/rant]

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Wanted : a magical ballistic orgasm of utter failure

Despite my tradition of long rants on bad films and doing blurbs on good ones, Wanted is sufficiently a train wreck that I’m not sure whether I should praise its hilarity or sigh at its pointlessness.

In any case, this movie takes The Matrix, replaced the titular network with secret societies, and vaguely explains the wire-fu with adrenalin instead of bending the rules of physics – oh wait, Wanted kind of does that too. Accordingly, binary existed thousands of years ago in the pattern weaved on fabric – apparently God decided to be really cryptic about communications (Noah got off easy).

Let me get this very clear and out of the way. Wanted is a superhero/self-empowerment fantasy aimed solidly at the “holy shit” audience with zero redeeming quality whatsoever. Now, it is fun to watch, with very good special effects, and it does have Angeline Jolie, but if you at least somewhat understand that bullets are little lumps of metal propelled by little explosions, this movie will let you express your greatest facepalm. The mindless usage of profanity comes off as the classic ‘let’s be adults and sprinkle “fuck” everywhere’ approach.

In fact, I hear that “BURVE THE CULLET” and variants, like “brb, curvin bullets round my cat”, are already popular and annoying memes on /k/.

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